School days...and taking risks!

Jordan recently had a large role in his school play "Beauty & The Beast"..now, acting is NOT one of his loves but he is taking Drama and it was required.  He was irritated he had landed such a big role but this mama knew from the time he was a little boy that he would be gifted in "drama"...he is quite the entertainer.  He did a great job and begged me to not post pictures but kids don't always get what they ask for...one day he will be glad.  

I have felt sorry for their drama teacher with this crew!!!! She said they kept her laughing!

Jordan also finished up basketball season.  His school has been very successful in sports, winning state basketball championships and state soccer championships.  In fact I am enjoying the QUIET of my home as the entire family is at the girls state basketball final game.  I planned on going but then realized I could have about 6 straight hours of a Saturday alone and opted to stay behind...I am with the girls in spirit!!!

I have to brag on my kids here...they are all SO brave!!!  There will be some changes next year, one I am not yet at liberty to discuss publicly but the other one is Kailee will be leaving TCS next year for public school.  This decision involved many factors but ultimately Kailee wanted to try public school after her experience last year in MN.   By a total fluke we found out last week the school she would be going to was having cheerleading tryouts this past week for next years 8th graders.  She has cheered for two years at TCS and was on a gymnastics team so she can tumble REALLY WELL.  She is one of those that is just gifted athletically and can dance too!  She decided to tryout so for the last three days has spent the afternoons with 40 other girls she didn't know learning the cheers and dances.  Tryouts were last night and she made it!!!  In fact when her turn was over the judges asked if she would stay until everyone had left and asked her to come back in and tumble for them.  The girl pulled out a roundoff and three backhand springs in a row...she said she was so nervous as she hasn't done any flipping since Dec 08 when when she was on the gymnastics team.  Way to go Kailee!!!  (this was the girl that almost didn't make it, see Memorial Box Monday below)

My bible study is studying "Chasing Daylight" and is is about making the most out of lifes mundane moments and taking risks!!  We have tried to expose our kids to risks as they have grown up and we are thrilled that we see them choosing to do risky things on their own...Now..I am not talking foolish risks but as Erwin McManus writes:

"It has become an acceptable part of pop theology that the safest place is to be in the center of the will of God.  I am not saying that this statement is ill-intended, but it is misdirected and misinformed.  Whatever the motivation the result as brought more damage than good. If the safest place to be is in the center of the will of God then an appropriate measure of God's will is the test...Is it safe?

The inversion of this framework has clearly affected our Western faith.  We have concluded that God promises's safety.  Those who are outside of God's will, will experience danger.  You cannot have risk and guarantee safety.  Out pop-theology has eliminated the place for risk and insulated us with a comfort and security theology.  The view runs counter to what is found in the Scriptures.  I want to reiterate the fact that the center of God's will is not a safe place, but the most dangerous place in the world.  God fears nothing and no one.  God moves with intentionality and power.  To live outside God's will puts us in danger, but to live in His will makes us dangerous.  When we begin to seek our divine moments , we do not begin to live risk free, but instead free to risk"!!!

Wow...I read this after our decision was made in the above two areas...I am SO excited for the opportunities both of these situations will provide our kids and our families with.  We have felt like we are kind of living in a spiritual bubble.  School and church take up a lot of our time and little time is left for reaching out to the lost (ironic isn't it?).  I know I am leaving a lot out but we know we will be judged for our decisions by some but that is ok.   To add on to what McManus says I think the more dangerous thing is to not be obedient to what God is calling us to and again..a lot of the time if not ALL the time that involves risk.  It may not always turn out well in the end...failure is very possible.  He also writes "Failure can shape us, change us, teach us and motivates us.   You do yourself a disservice when every story has a happy ending in life.  It's far more important that there be a meaningful middle.  So often, we're paralyzed in our fear to do the wrong thing, and it is important to always move forward with all the wisdom possible....in the  midst of the process , there is a great deal of imperfection".  

I think of some of you who have pursued a child and that hasn't had a happy ending.  You took a risk, with your heart first of all and oh, how that hurts but I pray that there has been a "meaningful middle".  

I never want to be seen as predictable or my life as predictable,,,that kind of makes me sick to my stomach...I want to always be open and asking "what next?"  Life is SUCH a journey and although it can be filled with many mountains and deep valleys if we keep moving it will take us far beyond what we can see!!!

Now I am off to crank my IPOD and clean my house ALL BY MYSELF!!!! Wohoo!!!  

my first Memorial Box Monday!!!!

There are some blogs that I just can't live without yet...well, that may be dramatic but there are a few I really wouldn't want to live without. Linny's is one of them...I have followed her for awhile and recently went back and read through her entire blog...girls, if you want to have your faith built read about the way she lives her life. I fully believe that God desires for all of us to live in awe of "OUR MIRACLE-WORKING, MOUNTAIN-MOVING, AWE-INSPIRING, GASP-GIVING GOD!"....Linny's words.  She encourages her readers to somehow keep track of the way God has been BIG in their life and she bases it on this: "In the Old Testament God tells the Hebrew nation to build a Memorial of stones to remember what He had done. He goes on to say that everytime they see the stones they are to remember and tell their children the story of His faithfulness and then to tell their children's children. So why did God tell His people to do that? Just for fun? No!! He did it cause He knew how forgetful they would be and that they would need to constantly tell the story over and over to remember His faithfulness"

So, this is my first Memorial Box Monday.

Kailee was a baby, just 5 months old. Mark was in his final
year of law school and life was simple but busy with three young kids, Mark working full time and going to school at night.
Kailee was a petite thing, although she weighed 8.3 when she was born in 5 months she had gained just under 3 lbs. She was very healthy, reaching development milestones much earlier than the other two and the easiest baby I had had so far. At about 5 1/2 months she quite having bowel movements. She had been strictly a breast fed baby so after a few days I called the dr. to ask if I should be concerned. They told me no. At the time we had great insurance. A $5 co-pay and 100% coverage...(oh for those days!!) BUT..IF you didn't have an appt....you weren't covered by insurance. We were on a shoestring budget and buying diapers was hard at the time so unneeded dr. visits were unthinkable to us. A few more days passed and still no bm's and she began to get uncomfortable. I called again, asking to be seen and when the nurse called me back she told me to just give her a suppository...ok...young mom, no sense...I did. Nothing. I called again a few days later, "no, don't come in, give her an enema"..ok...young mom, no sense...I did. Still nothing. Well, believe it or not this went on for 17 days.  She quit eating, was in obvious pain, and wouldn't sleep.  When Mark or I would try to pump her legs she would stick them straight out and believe it or not we could not bend them.  She also began to smell...like rotting meat.  It was really awful.  The 17th day was a Friday and that morning I again called the dr.'s office to beg to be seen.  I was told the nurse would call me back.  Now, this was a dr. who had seen me thru two deliveries and several kid appt's, someone who knew me.  I had not received a call by the end of the office day so I called back.  The staff had gone for the day so I was told the dr. on call would call me back.  He did and when I told him what was going on he told me again to give her an enema.  When I told him she stunk he told me "all babies poop stinks"...I told  him, "she is NOT pooping" to which he replied.  "Well, if she hasn't gone by Monday call back".  

I really was frantic now but still to dumb to put her in the car and head to the ER...$$ was always in the back of my mind.  I called my mom who was a nurse.  She had always been so good to never interfere with my parenting but she said "Sharon, you need to take her to the ER"...it was about this time that Kailee had finally falling alseep....a hard sleep for the first time in days and I thought..."ok, in the morning".  

Saturday morning comes and we load the kids up to head to our dr.'s office which saw patients until noon.  We were seen by a resident and her advice was the same.  Suppositories and enemas and she was sending me on my way.  I told her I wasn't leaving until THEY made her go.  She was obvious flustered and left the room.  By this time it was after 12, we had been there since they opened at nine and Mark had taken the other kids to his sisters so I was alone.  I heard the resident on the phone with the attending dr. and I heard her say "she won't leave"....FINALLY she came back and told me she was sending me to the ER where the attending physician was on call.  Fine with me...I packed up Kailee with some x-rays they had taken and headed to the ER.  Once she was admitted and the ER dr. took a look at her x-rays fear registered on his face.  He told me he was sending me immediately to the Children's Hospital.  I made the drive across town and they were waiting for me.  I was SO relieved someone was taking me seriously that it didn't really register to me the seriousness of what was going on.  Once we were admitted in a room UPSTAIRS...a pediatric gastroenterologist came in and said "Your daughter is very sick and I will be honest with you, I don't know if she will live through the night".....Have you ever had one of those moments when time kind of stands still?  I was still alone as Mark was making his way back to me after getting the kids settled at his sisters and I remember asking him..."You mean she could die?"...I just didn't get it....he said "yes" and explained to me she was SO full of BM...her tummy was huge and distended and hard as a rock.  He said if her intestines burst, which was a real possibility, her little body would be poisoned with e-coli and there would be nothing they could do.  He was taking her down to the ER immediately for a biopsy and to hopefully "clean her out a bit" but she was so impacted and it was so hard it would be difficult.  

They explained to me they suspected she had a condition where the intestines are missing the cells which push the bm out.  It is a fairly common condition and found at birth..the reason they want the baby to have a bm before leaving hospital.  They asked me if she had but I couldn't remember...third baby.....it wasn't a monumental event.  They gave me a check list of about 12 characteristics of babies with this condition and Kailee had about 9 of them including low weight gain.  

They did the biopsy and we would have to wait 3 days for the results.  They had cleaned her out a little in the OR but said the next 24 hours would be critical.  

At the time we were going to a fantastic church and had gotten plugged into a small group that had become our family.  I called our good friends/leaders and asked them to pray.  Our church was having a special service that evening and time was taken just to pray for Kailee.  By the next day word had spread world wide and she was even prayed for on a national Christian TV show...   

Well, she made it through the night and the next day they took her back to the OR to clean her out more.  They had given her something to soften up her bowels so they could remove the BM and so we were given the VERY GOOD news that she was past the critical stage, she would live and now we would just have to wait for the results of the biopsy.  IF she had the suspected diagnosis she would need surgery to remove the dead part of her intestine and they would give her a colostomy for about six months while her intestines healed and then re-attach her intestines.  K...we could do that BUT...our prayer was for healing apart from surgery.  

Let me stop here and say I could feel the prayers of God's people.  Even that first night I went into a state of such peace.  Maybe it was shock but I believe it was that peace that passes understanding.  SO many people were praying for us, people around the world we didn't know and it was powerful.  

Well, the day before the results were due I had to quit nursing Kailee because they expected surgery as soon as the results came in and she couldn't eat.  This was horrible because she so wanted the comfort of nursing and I couldn't.  Whenever I held her she would cry to be nursed so I couldn't even really hold her when she was awake.  Her veins were continually blowing out and she was having to be re-stuck over and over for IV's.  She was traumatized and hungry.  Mark's mom had just come into town a few days before she went in the hospital and she was a God-send...spending the days and nights with me as Mark was maintaing his school/work schedule....she is someone you want to have around you in a crisis situation!!!   She spent a lot of time holding an inconsolable baby!!!

The results were in and they were positive..she would need surgery the following morning.  We continued to pray for healing....

The next morning the nurse came in and told me the dr. had decided to do another biopsy...I asked her why and she told me "I don't know...he has never done this"....this time it was a a different kind so the results would be in by the end of the day....Late in the afternoon a resident came in and told us the results were in and they were NEGATIVE....the dr. would be by later.  When our surgeon came by later he told me she had the cells in this second biopsy but he was keeping us another couple of days to run several tests as to WHY this happened.  After 5 days total and several tests later we were sent home with no answers and orders to follow up with our surgeon the following week.  

When I went for our post-op our surgeon again told me they could find nothing wrong with her.  I asked him about her different biopsy results and he told me "I will be honest with you.  I saw you pray for her, I watched people come to your room and pray for her and I saw all the scriptures you had posted on her bed and around your room.  I am a Christian and the night before her surgery the Lord told me to do another biopsy.  She had no cells on the first biopsy and on the second one she did.....I believed the Lord healed her...." He went on to tell me he truly believed she would not have lived 12 more hours....

Kailee never EVER had another problem.  She began crawling in her crib in the hospital, began walking at 9 months and although she is still little bitty...(.her middle name is Elizabeth and we call her "lil bit".)....she is strong and healthy!!!  We can't wait to see how God's plan for her life is lived out!

HE DESERVES ALL THE GLORY FOR HEALING KAILEE...I WILL FOREVER BE GRATEFUL TO THE MANY THAT PRAYED BOLDLY & BELIEVED FOR HER HEALING...

I learned a HUGE lesson.... that $$ would NEVER EVER stand in the way again of getting our kids the help they need and that you FIGHT for your kids when they can't...hmmmm,,,,sounds a lot like a journey in adoption.....but that is for another Monday....

Why Is It Sad?

We almost daily wonder where Hudson gets some of the interesting things he says.  Yesterday he was eating breakfast at the counter where I had these flowers and he said 

"Why are these flowers sad? (pointing to the wilted ones?)  When Mark said, "well, they are dying, someone cut them" and Hudson replied "Well, who would hurt them?"  

Last night we were watching a movie and a little girl was on it.  Hudson wasn't paying any attention until he heard her voice.  He looked up at the TV and then whispered to me..."that girl is cute..." 

By the way, Gerber Daisy's were my mom's favorite flower and when I saw these at the store on Valentines Day I just had to have them....I have since thrown out the wilted ones and am enjoying the remaining two a big longer...

Insecure anyone?

I have started reading Beth Moore's book "So Long Insecurity: You Have Been a Bad Friend".  She is actually doing a discussion group about it on her blog.  It is rocking  my world and I am writing about it here.  It is actually hard for me to put this out there but feel like it is what God is asking...


Happy Friday everyone!!!  I am so excited to check back in on my friend Kristi later tonight.  She will be meeting her 2nd precious daughter, her 3rd Chinese sweetheart!!!

Chinese New Year 2010

Tuesday I hosted a CNY party for our little friends. It was so fun getting ready for the party and we had a couple activities and lunch. We were missing Ty and John, both from China but the rest of our crew were there.

Sprinkled Fortune Cookies

Rice Krispie Sushi

Monogramed Plates

Cali, Mei-Mei, Kali, Landry, Hudson

Amy and her girls....Amy was in my travel group and moved 40 min from us last summer from California.  

Jennifer and Landry

L for landry

Noah

I ordered Hudson's shirt from Cafe Press

Ty couldn't make it to the party but we had his family over Sunday for Mongolian Beef and Lettuce Wraps.

We started the CNY celebration a week earlier when we met a group of families for a Chinese Dinner.  Pictures on that later.....

May this year bring you all Abundant Blessings and

Gung Hay Fat Choy!!!!

P-flap vs. z-plasty????

We have been home almost two years and our biggest surgery yet is suppose to happen in May.  Hudson had his hard palate repaired in July 08(which also included a lip revision, rhino-plasty and tubes) another surgery in Dec 08 (unrelated), a tonsillectomy three weeks ago to make room for his p-flap which is the surgery scheduled for May.  Because of his seizure in Dec his neurologist insisted I talk to his ENT/cleft team about a sleep study when I mentioned his sleep apnea.  He was so surprised his cleft team had not addressed this.  I did bring it up to his ENT at his tonsil post-op and he too acted surprised his craniofacial surgeon had not discussed this with me saying "if he has sleep apnea he cannot have a p-flap".  We are a little frustrated.....granted, his tonsils now removed, which were HUGE, may have contributed largely to his sleep apnea.  His dentist is the one who first commented on his huge tonsils..not our surgeon OR ENT....

My questions are ONE, what do the cleft palate parents out there know about z-plasty and p-flap?  From what I know it is two different procedures having the same goal in mind (rebuilding soft palate which is crucial for speech).  I think (?) z-plasty is a newer technique and our surgeon said he does p-flap because it is what he learned in med school.  We would have to change surgeons if we went with z-plasty..TWO, anyone ever gotten a second opinion and changed what procedures (or were given a choice)?  I have had both explained to me and it sounds like z-plasty is not as painful or recovery as long.  We have been warned p-flap is a very painful and long recovery.  THREE, for those who have done one or the other, have you been happy with the results?

Of course we want to do what is best for Hudson and the best possible speech outcome for him.  I have researched both but know those speaking from experience is also a great tool and helpful in decision making.  

Thanks!! (you can email me privately at teagues5@msn.com)

so tired sometimes.....